What's your best tweet?
What are six things you could never do without?
My heart, my lungs, my stomach, my brain and my Scatman CD.
How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
I tweet jokes. I am a comedian. I suck at it, so people likes me.
What's your favorite Twitter app?
Twitter or Facebook?
What was the funniest trend you've seen?
I wish I could help with this one.
What feature should Twitter add?
Full body pictures im addition to thumbnails. THOSE LIARS!
Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
Yes, I did. My son. Why? Because he doesn't use it. He is 2 years old. I really don't know how he signed up.
Why should we vote for you?
Because they should. Yes. They should.
Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
How do you make your tweets unique?
Using my account. No one else has access to it.
What inspires you to tweet?
Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
140 characters of advice for a new user?
Some people will not like you. Don't worry.
How long can you go without a tweet?
Same time I go without going to the toilet.
What question are we not asking here that we should?
Do you want money? How can I send you?
How do you imagine Twitter changing?
I don't. I don't think about it. Sorry guys.
Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
My wife. She never uses her account. It is sweet to see her quiet (at least on Twitter).
Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?
What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
That it is a place of love and honest interaction.
Why should people follow you?
Because I have a nice car.
Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?
How do you decide what to tweet?
How do you use social media to motivate yourself or others to live a healthier life?
Well... I don't. Now that you brought up the subject, I feel bad.
How has social media helped bring your family closer together and #keepgoodgoing?
Well... it pays some of my expenses... so it helps a lot.
Why'd you start tweeting?
Because I wanted one more platform for people hate me.
Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?
Yes it did. It gave me 1000 reasons /day to shoot myself in the leg.
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
Wash their hands before using it.
How will the world change in the next year?
Yesterday on Joe's birthday, my friend GOD told me he has no idea.
What are some big Twitter faux pas?
Didn't undestarnd the question. Sorry. I am dumb.
What will the world be like 10 years from now?
It will be amazing. It will smell bad.