What's your best tweet?
What are six things you could never do without?
How do you use Twitter in your professional life?
What's your favorite Twitter app?
I'm gonna say Klout, because my Klout score looks great on my resume.
Twitter or Facebook?
Definitely Twitter. Unless I want to feel better about myself, in which case, Facebook.
What was the funniest trend you've seen?
Any Republican trend. They always turn into a joke.
What feature should Twitter add?
Who do you wish had a Twitter feed but doesn't?
Everyone over the age of 70.
What are some words or phrases you refuse to shorten for brevity?
I have a boner for proper English.
Is there someone you want to follow you who doesn't already? If so, who?
Have you ever unfollowed someone? Who and why?
I unfollow people regularly to feel better about myself.
Why should we vote for you?
Terms you wish would start trending on Twitter right now?
I have no preference. They all bring out the worst of the human race anyway.
What's the most interesting connection you've made through Twitter?
One time I went to meet this girl I met on Twitter for lunch. She turned out to be a 42 year old man who wanted to eat in his van.
Hashtag you created that you wish everyone used?
How do you make your tweets unique?
I compose them while twerking.
What inspires you to tweet?
Ever get called out for tweeting too much?
140 characters of advice for a new user?
How long can you go without a tweet?
12 hours is a good rule of thumb.
What question are we not asking here that we should?
You haven't asked me why I'm so good looking, which is kind of offending me.
How do you imagine Twitter changing?
With outrage from the Twitter community.
Who do you admire most for his or her use of Twitter?
Who is the funniest person on Twitter that you follow?
My aunt. But the humor is unintentional.
What is one of the biggest misconceptions of Twitter?
It's not just for pedophiles.
Why should people follow you?
Because I am a master tweeter.
Can you name some one-of-a-kind Twitter accounts that you follow?
How do you decide what to tweet?
Anything can be funny. I think of a topic, object, trend, etc... and I make it funny.
How do you use social media to motivate yourself or others to live a healthier life?
How has social media helped bring your family closer together and #keepgoodgoing?
Now we can all look at our phones together.
Why'd you start tweeting?
All of my friends were getting Twitter accounts and I thought, "Wow, you all suck at that."
Has Twitter changed your life? If yes, how?
Yes. Without Twitter I would have no way for celebrities to ignore my pleas for attention.
What do you wish people would do more of on Twitter?
How will the world change in the next year?
People will pretend to care more about it.
What are some big Twitter faux pas?
Generic quotes, terrible pictures of food, #hashtag #overload
, one word tweets, and play-by-plays of shit nobody cares about.
What will the world be like 10 years from now?
The same but with 12 Honey Boo Boo spin-offs.